What is the purpose of this Blog?

The purpose of this Blog is two-fold.

First, I want to debunk the perception that those opposing gay marriage do so only because they are hateful, fearful (homophobic) or ignorant (they have never met or loved a gay person).

The mainstream media presents a highly stigmatized image of conservative Christians and those who oppose gay marriage.  Personally, my main source of news is NPR to whom I have tried to give the benefit of the doubt for years.  But recently I have come to terms with the reality that they have taken sides and must simply be choosing to present a distorted view of gay marriage opponents.  Below is an excerpt of a letter I wrote to NPR during a recent pledge drive:

I love you.  I depend on you.  I am thankful for you.  That said, very seldom do I feel like you represent my point of view well.  I am an evangelical, and a conservative.  Most of the time it seems that your reporting, if presenting my view at all, will portray a shallow or stigmatized portrait of those with whom I agree.  You will devote entire programs or segments to highlighting or understanding my “opponents” standpoint- often filled with articulate, caring supporters- while giving a short rebuttal from a seemingly uneducated/ blindly intolerant dissenter, if any.  It seems so plainly slanted.  When I talk with my democratic or liberal friends who also listen to NPR, they feel like they hear their view on gay marriage represented accurately and regularly.  I can hardly think of one example where that is the case for me.

Like most news outlets, NPR provides a strong picture of the human side of the pro-gay marriage viewpoint, while perpetuating the stereotype that opponents or gay marriage are dogmatic and hateful.

And it isn’t just the news.  When was the last time that you saw an evangelical portrayed positively in any mainstream media venue?  The answer to that question is hardly ever- or never.  (Our TV viewing is limited to Bronco games, library movies and borrowed episodes of ‘Monk,’ so maybe there has been a positive representation that I’m not aware of.)  Now, when was the last time you saw the liberal pro-gay character portrayed positively?  My guess is nearly every day on every channel.

So the first purpose of this Blog is to give you at least one picture of an evangelical and what she really believes.

The second purpose is to give examples and direction to the church on how to act Biblically on this subject.

In the past few years as this debate has raged within the culture and within our own churches, I see very few people who walk the Biblical line of truth and love.  The pro-gay marriage camp is organized, zealous and bursting with eloquent spokesmen.  Where are our examples?  Who are we to emulate?  The only options I see are those who either have forsaken truth for “tolerance,” or those with such a death-grip on the fact that this is a “sin” that they have closed their hearts to their gay neighbors.  My sisters and brothers, both of those roads lead to death.  The first to the death of Christ’s lordship, the second to the death of His love.

True Christianity opposes the narrative that same-sex behavior is condoned by scripture.  True Christianity will also be the first to sacrifice and serve their gay neighbors and family members.  Hopefully this Blog will put flesh on those principles and help us to live them out.

To the gay or pro-gay marriage reader: In this Blog I will strive to honor your dignity and humanity, the recognition that you, as much as I, are made in the image of God.  If you ever feel that I have over-simplified your story or have not conveyed a heart of love for you, please write to me so I can repent to you personally.

To the Christian reader: Scripture alone is our authority.  God’s Word is to inform every thought, word and deed.  In this Blog I will strive to represent the whole counsel of scripture.  God expects us to be wise as serpents and gentle as doves- so let’s understand what God’s Word says and WHY, and then take His love to all.

42 thoughts on “What is the purpose of this Blog?

      • Thanks for running this amazing site. My mom was a lesbian and in a relationship with the same woman from my toddler years until her death when I was 19. I am grateful to you for doing all this work and apologize that I didn’t visit this site earlier. I received a notification on my blog that I’d gotten some referrals from “ask the bigot” and I was too scared to click the link on the backtrack. I need more of your courage and kindness. God bless you and I hope that one day you might write a guest post for my blog (English Manif), if ever you feel okay with that. We’re not as Christian (though I am a southern Baptist). God bless you!

        • Robert. Neither you nor your blog need any introduction here. I have read so much of what you’ve written and am grateful for the resources, reasoning, and perspective that English Manif has brought to my writing and thinking. As you can see I have not written in a while. There are so many wonderful shepherding opportunities in front of me that are vying for my wisps of non- wifeing and non-mothering non-housekeeping time. Hopefully blogging will make a comeback soon. Thank you for the comments and encouragement.

  1. Dear, Dear BIGOT. THANK YOU for helping people understand all of this. Some of us have not been fortunate enough to have the experiences you have had and it is hard for us “old-timers” to understand, but with your help, hopefully we will put the entire “gay” thing into a proper understanding. THANKS FOR YOUR HELP and KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!! H. Willard

    • Thank you as always for your encouragement Harold. We have a lot to learn from the older generation as well. So keep lovin those grandkids and being active at church so that we can glean all the love and wisdom that you have to offer.

  2. Totally hilarious. The Biblical line of truth? What is that? It would be nice if you applied some actual rigorous thinking to your shallow view of the world. It appears that you don’t have the critical thinking skills to understand the time when it was written, and where the stories were pulled from. You may want to remember that in your belief that your god supposedly created Everything. Read that word again: Everything. So if you really follow that belief then being gay was created by God. Cancer was created by God. The Nazis, Fukushima, child molesters, shouldn’t you be celebrating everything that god created? Even Malaria, Ebola, or Ethnic Cleansing? What’s next, that their is a force of evil that fights against god and turns people gay? The Devil! The Devil did it. Oh but wait, didn’t God create Everything?
    It boggles the mind that you’re singling out gays and gay marriage because a bunch of guys wandering around the desert 2000 years ago said it was wrong. Really? Oh and guess what, there were a host of beliefs that were around before anyone even thought of a single deity, and the particular one you subscribe too. How do you reconcile that with your biblical truth?

    True Christianity? Pathetic. If only you (and others like you) actually followed the teachings of Jesus Christ, wow, what a great world we would have.

    • You got me. I struggle to follow Christ’s teachings because they are hard and go completely against my inborn tendencies. It sounds like you hold Jesus’ teachings in high esteem. Care to cite one that you feel we need to better follow and why?

      • How about judge not, lest ye be judged? How about take the board out of your own eye so you can see the splinter in someone else’s? How about love one another? Turn the other cheek?

        Read the sermon on the mount again, or better yet, watch this:

        “A Proposition For Marriage”

        You seem to be a very sweet and gentle lady but your piousness makes me ashamed to call myself a Christian.

        • I watched the entire clip. It was well-acted, well-written, well-produced…and completely hypocritical. I say hypocritical because it made caricatures of its opponents and misrepresented their arguments. In short, it condemned judgmentalism by being judgmental.

          You say that Katy makes you ashamed to call yourself a Christian, yet if you like this clip I wonder in what sense you consider yourself a Christian. Do you think Jesus taught no sexual ethic?

          People like Katy are nothing like the people in this video. If you really think Katy is wrong, then put forth your best arguments against her best arguments. Don’t rely on the sort of blanket character assassination that this clip represents.

    • Christians are not bigots. A Christian doesn’t hate gay people. You cannot hate another human being while, at the same time, claim refuge under the all loving cloak of Jesus. We have been commanded by the Lord to judge in righteousness and that is why we must condemn the behavior of homosexuality and maintain the love for these people. God is complicated and difficult to comprehend, for those who are out of tune with the Holy Ghost. Yes, God is all powerful and his Love never ending, so to a person without the Spirit of Christ in their heart, it would seem crazy to create crooked (gay) people and command them to become straight. And God must be so saddened when he sees children suffering. In Africa right now, AIDS is becoming wide spread. Somehow, a myth that if a man, with the AIDS virus, has sex with a virgin, the disease will be cured. These men are now raping little girls, even toddlers. Can you imagine a pure, innocent little girl crying and pleading to God for help and she gets nothing as He can only stand by and helplessly watch. Those, who are not cleansed in Jesus’s blood, might think that God is either impotent or uncaring, but to Christians who know Gods plan, this all makes sense. Maybe being a Christian is synonymous with being a bigot. Maybe being a bigot is a good thing, if it stops sin from spreading.

    • Did you know that Jesus even taught that anger was a sin?
      Do read the new testament yourself, starting with the gospels.
      Jesus came to offer eternal life. He taught about love and forgiveness, ‘love one another as yourselves, ‘love your enemies’. Tough ask for anyone don’t you think?
      He also taught about sin. He didn’t say one sin was worse than another, he simply asked us to believe and ask God to forgive our sins. When we specifically look at sexual sins, Jesus talks about only one path of sex without sin and that is in marriage, between a man and a woman. All else is sin. Sex outside of marriage, man to man sex, sex with your mother, father, sister, animals etc. No one sin any worse than the other. The new testament is crystal clear about this position.
      The choice is ours. believe or don’t believe, but at the end of the day we all have to draw a line in the sand about what we believe to be right or wrong. Penny Wong, leading Australian lesbian activist in a debate recently, drew a line in the sand with polyamourous relationships, saying she wouldn’t support such relationships, but she would support homosexual marriage.
      Jesus drew the line in the sand in a different place to Penny Wong.
      Where do you draw the line in terms of sexual right and wrong?

      • Katy, I’m just reading through your latest blog comments. The gay marriage topic is not one I have touched yet on my blog. I have posted about my prolife views as graciously as I could, and each time my heart pounded as I pushed the publish button. You are brave. I want to tackle this topic in a novel one day so that I can really portray the emotions of both views etc. It will require research first as I have not had really close gay friends — just work friends and neighbors I got along well with. I wish more people were as kind about this topic as you are (on both sides). I am literally afraid to even talk about the subject.

        • I wish I could tell you there is nothing to fear. Even as I write this a cohort of hostile (not an exaggeration) bloggers are seeking to smear my husband and my church, and have already written a couple posts in that vein. And of course, now know our location and real names after (in what I think is an egregious breach of blog etiquette) mining information about us using our IP addresses. Even today, one of them justifies these tactics that she admits would be very disturbing if someone employed them against her. But because I hold a “harmful” position she thought it was “vital” to expose me.

          No, this is the issue to avoid unless God tells you explicitly to write and publish about it. Because it will cost you.

          But do not let that stop you from initiating relationships with those who are gay in your life. Many are broken, some from interactions with the church, but I’ve yet to meet a same-sex attracted person who isn’t tender hearted and dear. May God bind up their wounds through you.

          Thank you for reading and commenting, friend.

  3. “very seldom do I feel like you represent my point of view” really strikes a chord in me. Sometimes the best you can do is follow your own beliefs, stand up for them and not expect anyone else’s approval. You are the one who must ultimately answer for what you do or do not do.
    Peace and love,

    • Hi Maggie! Looks like I overlooked your comment from a couple months ago. Thank you. And I agree. But, being somewhat of a people pleaser, unfortunately the approval of others matters more to me than it should. That is where He must increase in my heart and mind so that only His opinions of me matter. Easier said than done! Thanks again for reading and commenting!

  4. Excellently written and presented with truth and love. I am passionate about Christianity and sexual purity and as a result have sought to help homosexuals in the same respectful way. I applaud you. Keep up the excellent work!

  5. I am unclear regarding your exact issue stated within this article. Is it that you are against gay marriage because it violates the principles of the Bible or that you find it distasteful?

    Alternately, are you against gay people raising children because you felt as though as a child you were entitled to both a male and female parent figure in your life despite the fact that many children manage fine without this whether they be from a divorced household, widow/widower, single mother, or gay parents. Indeed, it seems to be well documented that children of gay parents are doing very well, despite your reservations:


    Per your article, you were raised by a lesbian couple. I’m curious if you talked to your mothers about your feelings about this. Secondly, you have mentioned that you are 38. I suspect that trying to tell someone that you are the child of two lesbians some 20+ years ago would have been very awkward because homosexuality was not considered in a very positive light back then. I think that in some parts of the country, you would still have these difficulties, but thankfully in many more you do not.

    I do personally know several young adults who are the children of gay parents and instead of bemoaning their ‘missing’ parental figure, they seem very happy to have been raised in a loving household and are happy that their parents are happy.

    By the logic you have proposed here, any single parent must match up with an opposite sex partner to ensure their child has 2 parent figures of opposite sex, regardless of the parent’s happiness. However, a parent’s happiness is important to their ability to raise a child, because children see much more than we often give them credit for. And a child who doesn’t feel like they can speak to their parent(s) about their feelings, wants, or needs, may not actually be happy. It would be nice, though, if the pressure to not speak only came from dysfunctional families as opposed to an overarching effort by our society to quell silence on the matter so as to not disrupt the status quo. At least with the former, the matter might be best resolved with a divorce, as opposed to the latter which is currently taking a massive social movement and several landmark court cases to resolve.

  6. Hi Anonymous. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. You have some great questions which have been answered in several places throughout this blog. This discussion is exactly that, a discussion. With each side asking and, most of the time, seeking honest answers.

    Of course I have talked with my mother about my position. There is no palace for secrecy in the life of those who follow Christ. She is exceptionally gracious and understanding- may God grow me into those attributes more and more. Because at bottom, what I’m saying is that she is irreplaceable in my life. My father and another man, no matter how caring they may be, could never replace her. And no law should ever try and make the two, mother and father, interchangeable.

    Here are a few posts/articles that I think speak to some of your questions.

    Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment. All the best to you, friend.

  7. “To the Christian reader: Scripture alone is our authority. God’s Word is to inform every thought, word and deed. In this Blog I will strive to represent the whole counsel of scripture. If you disagree with me, I am happy to hear your critique. But unless you have an objection based on the Bible, your opinion has little value to me. God expects us to be wise as serpents and gentle as doves- so let’s understand what God’s Word says and WHY, and then take His love to all.”

    You have it exactly right!

    May God multiply you a hundredfold!

  8. Hello Mrs. Faust, you have demonstrated great courage in “coming out” with your feelings on this matter. It is ironic that those which advocate so called honesty are the most deceptive when it concerns the way these relationships affect children.

    The question of gay marriage is rooted in a much more pathological trend. And perhaps it would help you to better understand that you are not necessarily fighting ideals but a technocratic movement. The immense propaganda which is being driven forth is not of a moral nature as much as it is dependent on technology. The advance in the field of artificial insemination aka in vitro fertilization calls into question the nature of life itself. The human once, connected to authentic modes of existence, such as its immediate heritage and ancestry is now divorced from part of their past. Robbed of either mother or father, the person is reduced to an object of the present. Without this past as a foundation, the person becomes isolated and easily manipulated and controlled. This is precisely what humans have done to cattle and all manner of livestock. It makes them distributable and marketable to the widest possible variety in which the commodity is living breathing men and women.

    In this conflict, you and other children have become the collateral damage of a system which is in direct conflict with all modes of organic life, not just marriage but many other aspects are under attack. You sadly are the very first objects of experimentation that eventually will pave the way and provide the tools for science to green light human cloning and other uses of technology to “create” life, be they for military, industrial or pleasure.

    While your stance on religion is admirable, it is not as strong as your biological position. Life is an organic whole, divulged from the union of two distinct and separate sexes, man and woman, and the fight to defend traditional marriage as it is called is the fight to defend the natural organic life of man. A fight that has consequences beyond the lives of a few that will render human freedom null and void.

    Thank you for your honesty, please continue to expose the harsh reality that lurks behind the appearances of this age.

    Sincerely, Mr. Pathurst

  9. I have accepted that most social media outlets and news stations can’t be depended upon. I have so many gay and transgender friends who are more conservative than I am on these issues. They are also CATHOLIC and active ones as well. One of my best friends, who is gay, happens to be the music director of his parish. Another close friend, whom I admire and consider a confidante, is a transgender and happens to lead the children’s religious education. Both of them believe very much in the traditional family where children have both a mother and a father.

    • Two Cents,

      Welcome to Askthebigot. It’s good to hear from another perspective, and a bit of a surprising one at that.

  10. I appreciate the kind and intelligent way you handle this subject. Keep Up the good work. You are a courageous woman. It may not feel like it at times, but the majority is on your side. I don’t know if you remember when Chic-fil-A did their support traditional marriage day…you couldn’t drive anywhere without running into a line of cars waiting to get in and buy a sandwich in support. Strangely it didn’t really make the news. 🙂
    Thank you for so eloquently articulating that this is about children and speaking up for those who can’t speak for themselves.

  11. It was great to see you on QandA. And then to hear you were raised by parents who were lesbian. I was also raised by a lesbian mother and her multiple partners. I am a protestant evangelical believer in Christ and became a christian at university when I left home and could think for myself. I’ve been a bit unsure what to do with my experiences and this issues. I will check out your blog more.

  12. I just found this site after reading your great article at thefederalist.com about women and church leadership. My wife (one of those highly intelligent, talented female leaders you reference) is very passionate about the subject, and is hard at work putting together an extended Bible study (I’m guessing it will be something like 10-12 sessions, and over 100 pages) on the topic. I forwarded your article to her, and I’m sure she will appreciate your insights.

    Thank you so much for your response to John Pavlovitz’s article. I had a lengthy discussion with two friends on Facebook (both fellow church members) who thought his article was great, and bristled when I challenged his core premise. As I pointed out to them, if you eliminated all the programs and institutions started by white, conservative, pro-life Christians, the people who would be most hurt would be those poor and vulnerable people about whom we supposedly do not care. Removing hospitals, food banks, soup kitchens, ESL programs, job training programs, and other faith-based programming would absolutely destroy our inner cities and devastate families and communities.

    I added you as a followed site on my WordPress reader. Looking forward to reading more of your thoughts in the future. Thanks!

    Steve Rempe

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