You’re only against gay marriage because of your religion- Conclusion
Part 1– Alternative families are on the rise- and it’s not going well…
Part 2– Kids need more than just two committed parents, gender is relevant.
Part 3– Dad and Mom are needed to develop a healthy gender identity.
Part 4– Biology Matters.
Conclusion- Opposite-sex parenting is ideal.
I do not need the bible to make a case for traditional marriage. That Christianity endorses one man/one woman marriage, and it is a statistical reality that the traditional family structure is ideal for childrearing, simply reinforces my confidence in the Christian worldview.
If legalizing gay marriage was simply about marrying who you love, then it would truly be a “private” decision between two people. That is not the case. Legalizing gay marriage amounts to the endorsement of genderless parenting. So this is what it boils down to, friends. My greatest reason for opposing gay marriage is that it would obscure opposite-sex parenting as best environment for child rearing. That’s an incredibly discriminatory statement- unless it’s true.
In the states where gay marriage is legal, there is no framework to promote both fathers and mothers being involved in parenting. There is no lawful recognition of the unique and indispensable ways that fathers and mothers contribute to child-rearing. Adoption agencies have closed their doors because they have wanted to give preference to opposite-sex couples, but since that violated their state’s discrimination laws they could not. If heterosexual marriage is just some capricious arrangement, then showing a preference is ridiculous, malicious and bigoted. But if men and women parent differently and if that difference promotes child well-being, then the preference for placing children with heterosexual married couples is good policy.
And just so I’m clear, I’m not saying that being heterosexual and married alone makes for good parenting. Parenting is a skill that is developed through reading good materials, watching other’s parent well (and avoiding the methods of bad parents), observing and learning about your own child, and regularly processing with your spouse what is going well and what needs to be tweaked. What I am saying is that even if same-sex parents have good parenting methods and commitment and involvement in the lives of their children—gender still matters. At the very least they will have to go outside of their family unit to find “role models” that are not the same sex as the parents so the kids are getting some measure of adult gender input. At most they don’t have a biological connection to either parent, they are more likely to see the dissolution of their parent’s relationship, and they aren’t getting the balance of parental gender input. The traditional family model is self-contained with everything children need—one parent to provide financially, one to provide child-care, stability via the highest rate of relationship longevity, a strong biological connection, and both genders to give unique and complimentary input to child-rearing. And friends, I don’t need the Bible to make this argument. The true naturalist would contend that the conditions under which a child is conceived is most likely the ideal conditions within which to raise that child.
If you are tuned in to the gay marriage debate, no doubt you have seen studies circulated about how children raised in same-sex homes fare no worse, indeed sometimes better, than children raised in traditional homes. In examining the studies that support this claim, a study in June concluded that “…the available data, which are drawn primarily from small convenience samples, are insufficient to support a strong generalizable claim [for or against same-sex parenting]. Such a statement would not be grounded in science. To make a generalizable claim, representative, large-sample studies are needed—many of them.” The complete study can be found here: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0049089X12000580
The New Family Structures Study (NFSS), also published in June of this year, provides the most representative picture to date of young adults whose parents had same-sex relationships. This is the second-largest such sample of children whose parents had same-sex relationships, after the Census.” Here is a portion of the NFSS Abstract: The study compares “how the young-adult children of a parent who has had a same-sex romantic relationship fare on 40 different social, emotional, and relational outcome variables when compared with six other family-of-origin types. The results reveal numerous, consistent differences, especially between the children of women who have had a lesbian relationship and those with still-married (heterosexual) biological parents. The results are typically robust in multivariate contexts as well, suggesting far greater diversity in lesbian-parent household experiences than convenience-sample studies of lesbian families have revealed.” The full study is here and it’s fascinating. If you don’t read the whole thing, at least look at the tables of results in section 3.1. http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0049089X12000610
Maybe you disagree. Maybe you don’t believe that gender and/or biology plays a significant role in parenting and child-development. Maybe you agree with the some of the avant-garde within the left who believe that gender differences are not rooted in biology but rather something we “perform.” That’s fine. You get to view things your way and we can disagree. But what you cannot fairly say is that advocating for traditional marriage as the ideal place for child-rearing is hateful, ignorant or rooted in “phobia.” Rather it has been upheld and endorsed by nearly every major religion and society throughout the centuries.
Deviating from nature’s plan when it comes to our diets has quite obviously not gone well for this country. Eating artificial, engineered foods has left us sicker, weaker and overweight. If you are willing to honestly assess the emotional health of our children as a whole, it is obvious that messing with the traditional family is not going well. We are depriving children of the emotional “food” that nature designed for them to have from birth through adulthood. The attempt to normalize alternative family structures negatively impacts individual human development and social health.
Advocating for the traditional family is not a subject that will get you invited to all the most desirable cocktail parties, but for a child, who is the same physiologically and mentally as children have been for a millennia, the need for a loving and involved married mother and father is innate. No political agenda, desire or fad can ever change that.