“Gay marriage won’t affect you,” they say.

Those who advocate for gay marriage often open with the rational that “legalizing gay marriage won’t affect you, a heterosexual-married-woman.”  Some of my heterosexual friends have said that they are for gay marriage because “I may not agree with homosexual relationships but I can’t see how it would impact me.” Besides, many of us are looking for meaningful ways to love the gay people in our life.  So, what’s the harm?

Should we love and sacrificially serve people regardless of how they identify themselves? YES!  Should we stand against those who would ostracize and bully gay youth?  A true Christian will be the first to do so.  Are the struggles of those who identify as gay deep and real?  Absolutely.

But Friends, let’s be clear.  This is not about “rights.”  In Washington State, gay couples already have all the legal rights of married couples.  If you think this is about “allowing” gays to marry, that’s not the full story.  Legalizing gay marriage will amount to an “endorsement” of same-sex marriage and same-sex parenting.  The perspective that fathers and mothers give distinctly to children and that marriage involves a unique link to children will be considered bigoted and in some cases criminalized.  For those who feel I’m being sensational, I offer the video below.

Consequences of Redefining Marriage

You can believe in man/woman marriage and not hate gay people!  I hope I make the top two list of people (rivaled by my sister) who love my mom and her partner the most!  I support their right for hospital visitations, to bequeath wealth to one another, etc.  But I propose that we love our gay family and friends without changing the narrative about what is best for children.  Legalizing gay marriage would do exactly that.

Friends, I ask that you share this post and video on your Facebook page or with friends who are on the fence about this issue.  But I warn you, be prepared for some grisly backlash.  Advocating for traditional marriage is unpopular, to put it mildly.

Show compassion.  Bless those who oppose you.  And stand firm.

For details on how to love the gay people in your life, see “Why do you hate gays?”

For more on why I support man/woman marriage, see the five-part post “You’re only against gay marriage because of your religion.”

For ideas about how to respectfully defend traditional marriage, please read the comments following the post “You’re imposing your beliefs on me.”


3 thoughts on ““Gay marriage won’t affect you,” they say.

  1. I’m certain that you are right- gay marriage will be legalized. The question is not “if” but “when.”

    I recognize and believe in the rights of Americans to form relationships of their choosing. And while I love those that God puts in my life who are gay, and seek to be involved in any way where they welcome my involvement, and sacrifice for them in meaningful ways, I do not agree that same-sex parenting is ideal. With the legalization of gay marriage, there will be a top-down edict where all are forced to not only “live and let live” but to call gay marriage and gay parenting “good.” (Of course that matter is far from settled by objective studies, as we have discussed previously.)

    As for my “bigoted” position, I will borrow from my page “What is a ‘bigot’ anyway?”

    “Bigot: a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially: one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance. This definition implies blindly ascribing to a belief or prejudice, and allowing that to flow into hateful behavior.

    …So the mainstream media has labeled me a bigot because– regardless of my reasons or experience or background or heart– I oppose gay marriage. Maybe you agree– that simply being against gay marriage makes you a bigot. And if that is your definition, then I guess I am…

    But if you see through this Blog that I am neither obstinate nor intolerant and that I do not hate my gay neighbor, but you want to continue to call all traditional marriage supporters “bigots” anyway… does that make you one?”

    Lord, whoever “NotaScientist” is, I thank you for him (her?). I assume that his advocacy for gay marriage stems, at least partially, from a heart of compassion and love. While he and I disagree about this issue, thank you for his civic involvement and his sharp mind. I pray that in whatever way he needs your provision and involvement in his life, that you would show yourself to be Father and Creator to him today. In Jesus name, amen.

  2. Thanks for the “HELLO” this morning. I think you might remember that this whole thing got my attention when the Episcopal Church, announced they would be performing Gay Marriages. After reading the Bible and lots of soul searching, I resigned from my volunteer job. (Just trying to refresh your memory). My supervisor (the Executive Director) went on a trip to England to celebrate his marriage and I think he returned to Seattle last week. I have not had a response from him yet. I told him I would not just “walk out”, but I would give him time to replace me or whatever is necessary.

    I hope I get a response soon, or I will have to followup and make sure he received my letter. THANKS FOR ALL YOU DO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep this situation in your prayers.

    H. Willard

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