Part 2– Kids need more than just two committed parents, gender is relevant.
Part 3– Dad and Mom are needed to develop a healthy gender identity.
Part 4– Biology Matters.
Conclusion– Opposite-sex parenting is ideal.
I have gay friends and family members in my life. I believe that they should have the freedom to seek out the relationships of their choice. I don’t meddle in their relationships. Neither God nor society has given me the job of moral police. It is my role as their friend to love and draw them in, bear their burdens and share my life with them. As friends, we discuss our views on life and that includes our thoughts on homosexuality and gay marriage. They know where I stand in relation to advocating for traditional marriage. Although I don’t endorse some of their decisions, my disagreements should not impact whether or not I extend friendship and care to my gay friends. As a Christian my role is not to change anyone but to love them and demonstrate- with God’s help- what life with Christ looks like.
So why would I vote for and advocate for traditional marriage? Why not just live and let live? Why should I “push my beliefs” on my gay friends by denying them the “right” to marry their partner (as the media commonly frames it)? Christians, it is important that we have a convincing, secular, and statistically-supported case for how we vote on this issue. Yes, God ordained marriage. And if He did, we don’t just have to “take it on faith.” There will be measureable social, physical and economic indicators that support the goodness of His design. There will be drawbacks and deficiency when we deviate from it. And in my opinion, I don’t think it’s effective or appropirate to used scripture when advocating for public policy. So I’ve laid out my reasons for promoting man/woman marriage in this five-part post.
To begin, let’s look at the dramatic rise in single-parent households. In the past fifty years, there has been a significant shift in the sexual behavior of our nation. In 1960 5% of children were born to single mothers. Today that statistic is 41%. In the area where we live, that number is 63%. This reality has a huge impact on our country in many ways. First, when you go from a married household (whatever condition the marriage is in) to a single-mother-headed household, the average income drops from $70,000 to $30,000, with many single moms living well below the poverty line. These children and their mothers are in need of government aid in overwhelming numbers. Children that are raised outside of a married home are at increased risk for diminished physical health (obesity and eating disorders), abuse (either personally experienced or as a witness of abuse against, most likely, their mother), greater challenges to academic performance (ask any teacher if home life effects school life), risky behavior in adolescence, incarceration (inmate populations have upward of 60% fatherlessness), being trafficked, and mental health disorders. By no means am I saying that a child raised in a single-parent home is doomed in any of these areas, only that the deck is more stacked against them. Given this reality, as a society, if we want to make serious strides against child poverty, declining childhood health, gang violence, falling test scores in school, the growing barbarity known as human trafficking, drug use, pre-marital sex, teen suicide rates and depression and abortion… then we should advocate for every child to be raised by her married mother and father whenever possible.
Why is it that marriage adds health to so many areas of a child’s life? Yes, much of the reason is that there are two adults who share the equally valuable roles of income-earner and care-giver. If that was all that mattered, then there would be no reason to promote opposite-sex parenting above same-sex parenting and proponents of traditional marriage could rightly be accused of bigotry. But if fathers and mothers give uniquely to their children then we have a valid reason to set the traditional family as the ideal for child rearing.