Suzanne Venkner’s Fox News opinion piece “The War on Men” is garnering great attention in the blogosphere. I agree with, and cultural trends seem to affirm, many of her conclusions. The climax of her article is this statement. “But what if the dearth of good men, and ongoing battle of the sexes, is – hold on to your seats – women’s fault?”
Here’s the Bigot’s perspective on that statement.
The cultural narrative, wrongly I believe, has been one that equates masculine strength and leadership with domination and chauvinism. Yes, I do think that in many places femininity has been lost. But men get to choose whether or not they are destroyed by it.
In my opinion, being truly feminine does not equal less brains, capability, giftedness, leadership skills or gumption. It means recognizing and valuing the distinct social and biological attributes of womanhood. And, however much pop culture would like to poo poo the differences, they exist. Cross culturally, men tend to display the following attributes more than women: more explorative, determined to “deliver the goods,” looking for what’s next, opportunists, risk takers, initiators, active and aggressive, competitive and dominant. Sociologically women tend to: be more enticing, seek intimacy over action, be wisely receptive, seek security, prefer modesty, nurturing and verbal, more concerned about connecting, and wield a soft influential power. (Source: Secure Daughters, Confident Sons, Glenn T Stanton.)
War on men? I think so. In many parts of our culture, we have shamed or degraded men for acting on the inborn traits mentioned above when in reality they serve critical purposes for the individual, family, and society. Likewise, we have peddled the lie to women that those qualities that are uniquely feminine are somehow of lesser importance and demonstrate an inherent weakness.
Ms. Venkner states “Believe it or not, modern women want to get married. Trouble is, men don’t.” She couldn’t be more right. I have several beautiful, successful, academic, mature, and healthy single girl friends. They would like to be married. They would like to have children. There are VERY few available men with the maturity, self-control, and ability to provide for a family who desire to get married. Whose fault is it? Yes, there is exceptional cultural pressure to suppress many of these masculine traits, but ultimately it is up to the individual man to choose whether or not to believe the lie that the culture is feeding him.