In a public high school outside of Seattle this January, a lesbian teacher asked her class of freshmen to raise their hand if they supported gay marriage. Every hand went up sans one. The one that belonged to a Christian named Gretchen. Later that day, Gretchen was cornered and beat up by Maddy, the star player on girls’ basketball team who happens to have two mothers. (I’ll fill you in on the rest of this juicy tale later, or, if you can’t handle the suspense skip to the bottom.)
Can we pause and reflect here? This incident is a real life example of how all of the intimidation and inflammatory statements against those who support natural marriage being “haters” and “bigots” have real life implications for th
ose who dare to speak out. As I listened to Gretchen’s youth leader tell this story I was struck by how colossal a turn-around our country has made on this issue in such a short time. I was sickened that Gretchen suffered physical punishment as the consequence of statements about her beliefs. (Sheesh- not even statements. The girl just didn’t raise her hand.) Mostly, I marveled at how dangerous those who proclaim to be “tolerant” can become when they believe their hatred is justified.
This is my 100th post. (Please donate any money you would have spent sending me flowers and Bon-Bons in celebration of my big achievement to the Genesis Project.) This blog was conceived in an angry moment- just about three and a half minutes after our President’s “evolution” on gay marriage. (Let the reader note that “evolution” is used only in this instance. When it comes to other presidents or other issues it’s called a “flip-flop.”) This seemed to be the moment that the term “bigot” was outed. Mainstream media was giddily abusing and misusing “bigot” to describe dissenters. That was where this bigot snapped. I had remained silent too long. I had observed too many Christians harping on this issue from a “sin” perspective without demonstrating love for their gay neighbor and I needed to speak up about it. I also needed to address those Christians who were throwing the biblical sexual ethic on the pyre of tolerance. I was sick and tired of those who denounced all supporters of natural marriage as bigots. For the sake of all the Gretchen’s out there, the time had come to bust out my 2009, $199 HP Mini-Notebook computer and blog, baby, blog.
While I feel that God has lead me to write about this subject, at times I have wondered what difference I could ever make. I mean, if I had started ten years ago, there may have been some hope of contributing balance to the legislative debate. Maybe. But now? Well, it’s too little too late. Public opinion – undoubtedly aided by media bias, hasty parenting “studies,” and the sidelining of any perspective deemed “anti-gay”- has done a one-eighty when it comes to gay marriage policy. Ten years ago, it may have been Maddy cornered and beat up. (I’ll never forget the day a gang of four girls blocked the exit of the gym and taunted me for having “two moms.” One girl was wagging her finger in the air, her nose nearly touching mine, her breath smelling like breakfast sausage. Yep. Like it was yesterday.) Indeed, the tide in the marriage war has turned.
However. While there is cause to lament, I choose to see it as an opportunity for true believers to become what we always should have been- missionaries in a country that is not our true home. For decades, if Christians were engaging culture at all, it was often focused solely on conforming external behaviors while ignoring the needs of the heart. Now, whatever illusion we’ve had of Christendom in this country is crumbling at an alarming rate. Some believers may mourn the demise of a culture that, while not necessarily Christian, had a “moral” appearance with predominately Christian traditions. But this was mostly surface stuff. For the Christian, it should always have been about uprooting the tree and planting new seeds, nurturing and cultivating new branches. Branches that bear new fruit.
That is not to say that we should be silent on moral issues in this country, we simply must be careful to never conflate the role of law and the role of the Spirit. If we want to follow Gods command and bear fruit, it will not be through legislation and behavior modification. Only the Spirit of God can bring about genuine spiritual transformation, often working through those who would choose to obey his commands, no matter the cost.
So, as promised, back to our juicy story. For those of you who skipped ahead- tsk tsk. Do read the middle at some point. (You’ll undoubtedly want to hear my reference to breakfast sausage.)
Gretchen’s parents asked for a meeting with Maddy’s mothers and a couple days later the lot of them were found waiting outside of the principal’s office. Mr. Adams, my daughter’s band teacher and Gretchen’s youth leader, was there as well. Maddy had just sustained a season-ending ankle injury and was on crutches. Gretchen asked Maddy if she could pray for the healing of her ankle. She and her mothers consented. Gretchen, her parents, and her youth leader laid their hands on Maddy’s ankle and asked God to heal her. Her ankle began to feel warm and, after the meeting, Maddy walked out of the principal’s office… pain free. (FOR REALS PEOPLE. Yes, God still heals.)
The two mothers, who consider themselves Jews, were floored. They asked if they could talk with Mr. Adams. Specifically, they wanted to know what parts of the Hebrew scriptures were fulfilled by Jesus. Mr. Adams has met with them once a week since then. Even more awesome? Two weeks ago, Maddy’s biological mother decided to follow Jesus. She is overflowing with His Spirit. Now she is wrestling through how to honor God in her relationship. Among others, a former lesbian in Mr. Adam’s church has reached out to her and has committed to traveling this new road with her and her partner.
And that, dear friends, is pretty much the textbook example of how this is supposed to go: Christian stands firm. Stones get thrown. Christian blesses and prays for the aggressor. God shows up. God opens eyes. God changes hearts. Changed hearts lead to changed lives. Church walks through life with the one who has been changed. Thank you ninth-grade Gretchen for giving us a tutorial in living a life of truth and mercy.
So what is my role here on askthebigot? Why blog if the decision’s already been made? Gay marriage is legal here and likely will be in the rest of the country shortly, especially with the corruption taking place among our branches of government. (Yes, I refer to the legislating from the bench, unelected Attorneys General refusing to do their job and defend laws that the citizenry has enacted and so on.)
What I hope is to be one of a growing handful of voices that is striving to strengthen and preserve a remnant of believers who are serious about missional living. Those who wish to follow Jesus radically. Obey Him explicably. Trust Him unequivocally.
There is hope. And it is not in how the Supreme Court rules, nor whether the amendment is struck down or upheld, nor what World Vision considers marriage for their employees. The hope is in God working in the hearts of your neighbor, your nephew, your lab partner, your co-worker, your daughter, your father.
Through you.
There is hope because God is at work through you.
askthe"Bigot" 
Seriously? You believe in that touch healing stuff? Like those poor handicapped people who go to those giant church things that promise to heal and they leave disappointed? How interesting that he chose this specific instance to work his magic.
Also, would you prefer it to be the other way around, when the gay and progay people got beat up instead? Not all pro gay people beat up people with differing opinions, and nobody should be. Singling out an immature high school girl with two moms to be your run of the mill gay rights supporter is silly. Like your breakfast sausage girl- sounds like
they have a lot in common. Sounds like you have figured out a way to rationalize it however it works out.
“Also, would you prefer it to be the other way around, when the gay and progay people got beat up instead?” Oh yes Thinker. Because in your world view SOMEBODY has to be the victim so in this scenario someone should be on the receiving end of abuse. That kind of “thinking” is pathetic and lazy. I know, and I suspect you do as well, that in Askme’s opinion and desire is that no one gets a beating. Honestly. You can do better.
And please do tell me. Who is your example of the “run of the mill” gay rights supporter? As I see it this world is made up of individuals. All with unique, singular life experiences and perspectives. This high school girl and her mothers experiences are just as valid as anyones. You don’t like the outcome and thus singling them out makes it “silly”. Of course it does.
Having watched your interactions on this blog I submit that it is you, not Askme, that has figured out a way to rationalize it, however it works out.
Frau I honestly feel like you’re kind of exhausting to interact with. I have a good relationship with AskMe and we have an understanding. I think she understands my sarcasm and knows where I am coming from. She knows I don’t want anyone to get beat up and she knows I’m not an idiot. My comments are directed at her, not you. Please know my comments are in context and I’m not talking to you and I have no desire to. You come across as mean and spiteful, and I prefr not to try to have a dialogue with you because it’s overwhelming. You should take some tips from AskMe and learn how to be more pleasant. Sorry, AskMe, for being rude on your blog, but I really don’t care for this woman based on the little bit I know about her.
Funny that. I recall we have interacted maybe, what, once before now? You are apparently easily exhausted. It’s super fantastic that you have a good relationship with the Bigot but, as the inter webs/blogosphere offers the opportunity to have a conversation with all commenters, I expect that when I post something that is soaked in snark, I am opening the door to responses. Perhaps you should send your sentiments to the Bigot privately since you have such a good relationship. That way you can protect yourself from mean and spiteful commenters.
And really? If you didn’t wish to engage me you wouldn’t have responded at all.
Hi Frau. I’m sorry I was trying to dismiss you based on your shrewdness. I know religious people are just humans, but you sarcasm and coldness surprises me I guess because you seem so hostile. I thought receiving Christ was supposed to help a little bit with that, so I do hold you to a bit of a higher standard. But, I was just snarky, but since I know I’m not full of contempt, it’s easy for me to not think of myself like that. But since I don’t know you, you’re venom seems worse. AskMe attracts a lot more bees with honey, but that ain’t your approach and that’s respectable too. I took your advice and talked to Askme privately and that gave me some clarity. From now on I’m going to think about what I write for at least one hour before I write it and consider that as you said, it’s on a public forum, not meant for only one person. Tisha- I get what you’re saying. You’re right.
Frau- can we start fresh?
Somebody has to be beat in my world view? I thought I said, “nobody should.” Meaning nobody should get beat up. I don’t think there needs to be victims or winners or losers. I want everyone to have their rights and have some peace.
I can assure you I AM exhausting to interact with. My husband read your response and confirmed that for me. I mistakenly thought you were a part of a mean little internet click that spends an extraordinary amount of time on this blog demonstrating how evolved and erudite they are. I am just a beginner when it comes to exhausting with these folks. I have a bit of a knee jerk response to the lot of them. Your last response clearly demonstrates you are not associated with them. It is far too adult, humble and intelligent.
I love that you have higher standards of Christians (you should!) and I promise you I fall short every single day. Especially that whole “Love your enemy” thing. Yow.
I think you said it best up there in that big girl pants post. I know I am not full of contempt but, because delivery is completely subject to interpretation, it can certainly seem that way. I am also driven to, protect?, no that’s the wrong word. I simply have a visceral response to what I perceive as an attack on Askme. I believe that is in the job description of “wing woman”.
I love to be surprised and I thank you for your surprising and refreshing response.
In your initial response to Askme, I thought your question was silly. Your opinion is that no one should be beaten(fairly certain most people share that sentiment) but it was your asking the question which I believe revealed your instinctual victim/victimizer world view.
Hi Thinker. Do I believe in healings? Yes I do believe. (Lord, help my unbelief.) What matters in this case that the two mothers believed. Likely because it was undeniable. Why did God choose to heal in this instance? I can’t say. If I had to guess, it was because He knew that the healing would lead to a desire to know the Healer. Because that’s what He’s really after- not money in Benny Hinn’s coffer.
As the good Frau pointed out, I would “prefer” that no one is getting beat up. In fact, that is why I included the personal story- to illustrate that the shoe has been on the other foot and it’s not a pleasant shoe any way you wear it. I would “prefer” that no one is being called “fag” or “dyke” or ”bigot” or “homophobe.”
Of course not all pro-gay people beat others up. But when you use inflammatory language (and the honest observer must admit that the most vocal champions of gay marriage regularly default to provocative name calling) things don’t always remain in the realm of ideas. Case in point- the Family Research Council, labeled a “hate group” because they support natural marriage, was shot up by a pro-gay activist. http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nation/story/2012-08-16/family-research-council-shooting/57099528/1
Not sure what you mean by “rationalizing” since I don’t believe that took place in this post.
I do have to chuckle a bit, dear friend, at how you bristle when Frau M’s responds. Is there much of a difference between her tone and yours?
I don’t know. For some reason she totally bugs me. I’ve only interacted with her once prior to this but to see her comments to everyone else she just seems like a yucky person. I’m sure she’s much better in real life. At least I hope she isn’t this bitter. Maybe she should go to charm school. I’m no angel, and I disagree with a lot of people on here, but I enjoy my back and forth with them and we usually come are able to reason at the end. But I find her extremely unpleasant and bitter. Like I said, I’m only gong off the material she has given on here and I know you like her so she can’t be all bad, but man does she seem nasty. So chuckle away.
Just imagine if Gretchen’s story was national news worthy… like it would have been had it been the other way around. I don’t care one bit if the media airs stories in favor homosexual marriage cause – good – it’s real life. But to silence the other side, to refuse to air, to go so far as to be extremely vocal against the other side without sharing their stories too…. THAT is disgusting. If this is all the “public air time” she gets — pass along to her, a standing ovation from this girl!! What a story!
I hope she reads your comment and is encouraged, Kayla. You are right. She nailed it.
Thinker: I really get your style of communication with “sarcasm” since it’s my primary mode as well. I submit to you, however, that AskMe is right on the money when she chuckles at how “bristly” you get with Frau. You are each one side of a coin. You seem to feel justified in your sarcasm while Frau must respond to you without sarcasm or snark or she is “yucky”. You don’t have to embrace this theory; just think about it when you aren’t in “reaction mode” and you might see my point.
However, this is beside-the-point stuff. The real point here is that a. bigotry is not reserved for Christians alone. There are bigots elsewhere; in this case, there are bigots among those who support gay rights. b. it is unacceptable to threaten or harm another person because of their beliefs or lifestyle. c. whether you believe in healing or not, something miraculous happened in Gretchen’s story. She was attacked and, instead of attacking her attacker which is the norm in our society, she embraced her attacker and brought her attacker to a measure of peace. Redgardless of your position on gay rights, Gretchen’s selfless actions and love of neighbor should be recognized and imitated. d. we need to recognize and celebrate the good in all of us, be we heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, Christian, atheist, agnostic, whatever.
You know Im a huge fan of this blog, but my BS Detector is humming over Gretchen & Maddy. Its so good that if it wasnt proporting to be true, it would still be a brilliant Christian fiction piece.
Hello friend. I obviously fabricated the names. I only know Mr. Adams (not his real name) personally. He shared this story during a chapel talk on Friday and then I talked with him afterward for more details. (I of course wanted to know: how long the women had been together, was there a father in “Gretchen’s” life, and what church are you going to again?) It is quite a package, isn’t it? Sweet girl (described as very quiet and introverted), persecution, “Can you show us from the scriptures where Jesus is the Christ” (I didn’t know people said that anymore), topped off by a conversion. Throw in a healing and it does look concocted. It is not, however. That I condensed three months of life into three paragraphs did not help, I’m sure…
Oh! Sorry I hadnt realised that you knew one of those in the story. I had assumed it was a story that had passed along a grapevine. Thanks for clarifying – it does sound more real to me now.
Now, the ”Christian” thing to do here is go visit the local hospital, do a spot of praying and cure all the cancer patients rather than a simple sprained ankle.
Attributing such occurrences to ‘god’ is fallacious.
Amazing story. The Ark, in his running heyday twisted his ankle badly after stepping off a rather high kerb while crossing an intersection.
I limped home, strapped up the ankle and resigned myself to not running a rather important marathon the following weekend.
I went to see my physio, Gary Sobel, the following morning and guess what!
He warmed his hands, (rubbing them together vigorously) deftly massaged the ankle , included a short session of electro-vibro massage and hey presto I walked out of his Practice ( albeit gingerly) took it easy or the week and ran the marathon. Yes, this was a miracle. A miracle of science and several years at university.
Such injuries are usually caused by overuse or over training. Any decent sports coach will tell you this.
What an awesome story! Thank you so much for sharing. I LOVE this. Yes, yes, yes- it is all spiritual. This Christian nation has been asleep and I hope and pray for a revolution-a Godly one! Don’t ever feel like you’re not doing anything. You blessed me today and have blessed me before! Keep on keeping on!♡
Dear friend. Thank you so much for reading, commenting and your encouragement. God know’s I needed it today. 🙂