16 thoughts on “PSA and FYI- sometimes listening is enough

      • Love, sacrifice and truth. These send us to that painful bifurcation splitting up families for decades and now tearing churches apart. As a loving parent, I can only support, accept, and affirm my children – as I do my brothers in the pews and the cars next to me. But when does love require that we chastise others, because we’re “sure” they’re on the wrong road? If I know we’re both wanting to go to Chicago, doesn’t scripture urge me to point out when I can “clearly” see they’re headed to Dallas, based on the road they’ve “chosen?” Which brings me to another life lesson I’ve preached to my flock, “It’s a mark of maturity to allow others to be “wrong..” Clearly these are rhetorical, and we’ve all bashed our heads against the wall until our’s as bloody as those we’ve been so loving to. I’m just digging deeper into the mud under the well of what it means to love. It’s hard to stay clean and dry, and my hands are now bloody too.

        • Great thoughts, Bill! I think that the distinction comes when we see that our role is to faithfully speak truth with gentleness, and then leave the results up to God. Love is not permissive. And if we see a brother or sister on a path leading away from God, it is unloving to keep silent. BUT this will hopefully be preceded by a long track record of sacrifice so that they know our admonishment comes from a place of love. And then proceeded by faithfulness despite what path they choose.

          When it comes to unbelievers, we should be living such good lives- lives overflowing with sacrifice, mercy and a continuous testimony of God’s work in our personal world- that they are seeing God in us. I PRAY that if someone ever says to Jimmy that God hates him or that Christians think he is an abomination, or something erroneous to that end, that he will think “Katy seems pretty serious about God. And she’s always quoting scripture. But she loves me and I can tell her anything. That must not be true.” Love and truth hand in hand is the way to go. But usually we need lots of demonstration, and then just speak truth when asked.

  1. Really good post. I myself have a few friends who are gay and we managed to keep it civil. I love Romans 12:18    and made it my motto: “As much as it is possible, live in peace with everyone.”

    • That is such a great principle for every relationship, Marco. We alone cannot decide what the relationship will be, but we can remove every obstacle from our side of things. Thanks for the comment!!

  2. Indeed. Above all we have to be able to be kind, have empathy, listen. I don’t get this concept that if people disagree with each other that means they can’t respect one another or be friends. It seems so puerile. At this point of human existence we really should be rising above that. People who don’t are really acting a little bit like Hamas… Remember what Golda Meir said? “Peace will come when they love their children more than they hate us.”
    She was referring specifically to the Arabs but I see it as a general point. It’s about putting the good first. In the end that’s the secret of life.

    • Ah Golda! A trove of wisdom, she is. Agree agree. But I don’t know if at any point in history we will be able to “rise above” unless human nature changes. Unless an external force- such as law, or an internal force- principles that overrule our selfishness and self-protection, are at work then people will resort to best-for-themselves behavior. Hamas is the consummate example of bad ideas shaping the naturally self-serving flesh. Not only do they want the best for themselves, they also want the worst for Israel. But don’t get me started on middle east politics. Have you read Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali?

  3. I was convicted about this just a couple of weeks ago, out with a friend to dinner. She was sharing something with me, and I about weighed in with my opinion, and that still, small voice said, “You know, Lydia, she doesn’t really need to hear your opinion. She’s heard dozens of opinions. She needs you to listen.” I’ve been evaluating when and how I give my opinions ever since. I so appreciate this post, because it speaks to exactly what I’ve been learning. Also, I totally didn’t know about the Starbucks refills with the card, so there’s that, too. 😉

    • Gurl, I get it. Sometimes when I get on a roll, I just keep rollin even when I should park it. And I want to reiterate that I do think that there is a time when we should share our thoughts with our friends. It just doesn’t have to be all the time. 😉 I’m on my second cup of coffee right now. Cheers, Lydia! Glad to have you along on this blogging journey!

  4. I needed to read this today because I have many friends who are gay, know I’m a Christian and my beliefs, but we’ve never ever discussed the topic. I feel it coming with one, and I don’t want my dear friend to think I have anything but love for them. I adore them! Just disagree. Loved reading this. ♡

    • Thanks Faith!! One thing I know, things might get messy. But that’s okay. It demonstrates love when we stay in it even if things get uncomfortable. It’s times like those when I understand why faithfulness is one fruit of the Spirit. Anyone can be nice for a time, but can we stay in it when we want to run? Praying for a heaping measure of the Spirit in you, dear friend!!

  5. Good post. I actually went to a prom with a guy that was out and proud. We were good friends and we still are. I have gay family members, gay friends, many people I care about. There’s a huge difference between hating people and standing up for what you believe in.

    Sometimes love requires you to stand up and speak the Truth, but if you’re operating from a place of love, it’s not about condemnation and shame. That’s a tough line to walk in a world where people like to believe there’s only one possibility, “you’re with us or you’re against us.”

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