Last week a cohort of bloggers spearheaded by a Pink Agendist participated in exposing my real identity. Pink then proceeded to slander my husband and my church on his blog. He published the names and addresses of our home community leaders as well as my friends’ picture. Though some of these people from my church have probably never read my blog, they were made to suffer because I choose to write about gay marriage. So, what’s a Jesus-loving girl to do in that situation? Spend some time sick to her stomach? Yes. Bury her troubles in a Downton Abby marathon? The Countess may give me some words of wisdom, after all. Or put on her big-girl pants and do the hardest thing of all: initiate a conversation with one who has sought to harm her friends and family. And so, with very little hope that it would result in anything other than more taunting and personal attacks, heart racing I clicked “send.”
Dear Pink. This is Katy Faust. I am writing in an attempt to see you not as an adversary, but as a person. We are on different continents, so I think that there is very little that I could ever do for you in terms of tangible service and encouragement. But I have an obligation and a desire to do something that you would consider meaningful in terms of caring for you. Obviously, if the only way you feel I can do that is to change my beliefs then I will not be able to offer you anything. But one of my beliefs is that I am to make peace through sacrifice. Can I do that somehow for you? If I was basing my actions on whether or not I thought they were going to bear fruit, I wouldn’t bother to send this email. But I am writing this email because I believe that you are a valuable, gifted, and precious person. And because you deserve to be seen as more than a gravitar in my mind. And I am to make every effort to live at peace with all men. So, that’s all. Best wishes, Katy
I didn’t hear anything for a great while (well,maybe only 36 hours but that’s a long time in cyberland.) He probably thought I was attempting to get him off my back. Or perhaps he was working my email into an opus on the wiles of Christian women. He did write back, however. And the conversation did not go the way I had expected. His thoughts on the origins of our conversation can be found here. His first response to me can be found here.
(Obviously more social-media-savvy than I, Pink feels that our correspondence should be ladled out in digestible doses. You can’t knock the man for his lack of drama. Mike’s Shakespearean influence I suppose?)
1/15/15 update: Pink has reinvented himself and is now blogging at justmerveilleux.wordpress.com. Below are the portions of our exchange that were previously found at pinkagendist.wordpress.com.
Thanks for your message, although I’m not entirely sure what you hope to accomplish. Your efforts and website do the opposite of portraying gay people as valuable, gifted or precious people.
You reduce human beings to their sexual orientation as if that’s the be all and end all of human existence.
You ignore the basic notion that life isn’t black and white. That people can be good or bad and their sexual orientation has very little, if anything at all, to do with that.
Perhaps you didn’t personally have a good experience, but that doesn’t mean that that’s the full picture of possibilities. You can’t deny that there are heterosexual parents who do a monstrous job at rearing children. Their heterosexuality doesn’t stop them abusing, beating, rejecting, ignoring or neglecting their flesh and blood.
That’s the point at which one has to ask themselves, what does that mean? Could a gay couple possibly offer respite in one of those situations?
Should we not look at cases individually without prejudices? Couldn’t the gay couple where one is a psychologist and the other stays home possibly fulfill the needs of a troubled child better than a heterosexual couple where both work long hours in a bank?
Thanks for writing me, I really do appreciate it. I don’t know if anything will be accomplished by this, I only know that I am to make the effort.
If my blog has not conveyed that gay people are valuable, gifted, precious and worthy of love then I have erred greatly. While I have devoted posts in the past to that reality, clearly it is time to state it explicitly again. I will do my best to convey that truth in my next post.
“You can’t deny that there are heterosexual parents who do a monstrous job at rearing children. Their heterosexuality doesn’t stop them abusing, beating, rejecting, ignoring or neglecting their flesh and blood.”
You are of course absolutely right about this. Heterosexuality does not a good parent make. And conversely, a same sex attraction does not negate parenting abilities. As stated numerous times on my blog, my mother was an exceptional parent. Much of what I do that is good as a parent myself comes directly from her modeling. She is one of God’s greatest gifts to me.
“Could a gay couple possibly offer respite in one of those situations?”
Absolutely. Which is why I traveled internationally with a lesbian couple when they were adopting their special needs child. (Also mentioned in several posts.) Do I think their daughter will miss out by not having a dad? Yes. Will she be immeasurably better off in the care of those two wonderful women than in the orphanage? Absolutely. Does that mean that we should promote a family structure where mother or father is absent? In my opinion, no. Do I hate them? Not by a long shot. Have some Christians criticized my decision to support them during their trip. Yes. But my Lord tells me that I not only can, but must, serve those even if we disagree about ideas. (Not to mention, they are just fun to be with.)
Thank you again for your email. Though I don’t know what this would look like, if I can do something to serve or sacrifice for you I will try to.
All the best to you and your partner.
Would you like to post our exchange? We can both do it, if you like. If so, I’m willing to re-state my position, and stand by the fact I think you’re actually more open than some comments led me to believe
I think this portrays a good, fair and reasonable dialogue. Leaving room for each person’s private positions.
regards to your (very good looking) family,
Want more? See “What did the Christian and the Gay say- Part 2”