• “Gay marriage is a lie.”
• “Fighting for gay marriage generally involves lying about what we’re going to do with marriage when we get there.”
• “It’s a no-brainer that the institution of marriage should not exist.”

You may have missed the story of prominent gay activist Masha Gessen’s surprisingly honest speech on the real goal behind her efforts to legalize gay marriage.  Her statements, and her family make-up as detailed in this audio, flatly contradict the picture painted within mainstream media of the gay couple next door who just wants to be married and have a family like Mr & Mrs. Jones.

To be fair, I think that the majority of gay couples seeking marriage are not trying to unravel the fabric of this institution.  I know several women who have been in committed relationships for years and who seek the benefits that marriage would bring them personally.  One of the girls on my daughter’s soccer team has two dads. They truly are seeking marriage for private reasons, not for a greater political agenda.

That said, let’s be clear.  This is no slippery slope.  This is a complete drop-off.  We either maintain a definition of marriage following biological formula for a natural family unit (one man + one woman = baby), or we drop the dual gender requirement and have no legal or logical reason to restrict marriage in gender or number of participants.

Take a moment and listen to Ms. Gessen’s statements and how she describes her family arrangement.  If you think Ms. Gessen’s family makeup unusual, another example of the “post-nuclear gay family” can be found in the post Chapter Next.  Also, check out beyondmarriage.org to see coordinated efforts to use “marriage rights” to greatly broaden the definition of “family” in America.

The natural outcome of dropping the dual gender requirement in marriage is the emphasis of adults’ rights over those of the child. The question of who has relational priority in the life of a child is already giving family court lawyers new horizons in their work as exemplified here.

The other logical outcome of gay marriage will be the recognition of more than two parents, because there will never be only the two gay parents in the picture.  California’s nearly-passed “Three Parent Law” flowed out of the inevitable complication of biological parents outside of the gay relationship.  If you can handle all the tumultuous details, read about the case that precipitated the proposal of that law here.

Since we have stepped away from the benefit of an objective biological standard, we will have to find an answer to the questions: “What is a mother?” “What is a father?” Is it someone related to the child?  Or the person married to the biological parent?  Or someone that the child “considers” a parent?

Or, as Ms. Gessen advocates, is it any- or all- of the above?